D.C. Odyssey Part 3

During our actual stay in D.C. Lumpy wasn't a real pain in my butt. In fact, I hardly ran into him. No, the real shooting pain(s) were Heckel and Jeckel. From the time we got into Washington, they were on a royal binge. Not once did their blood alcohol level get below .10. There are two events that you are required to attend; The candlelight vigil, and then the actual memorial service two days later. They did attend the candlelight vigil, but were missing in action for the memorial service. Needless to say, this was their last trip.

My wife came into town on the second day. She was going to attend the vigil, which was set for sunset that day. My wife and I did some sightseeing, then we headed back to the hotel to clean up and get ready. As we walked in the door, I found a woman ironing my uniform shirt. My reaction was natural: "who in the blue hell are you?" I asked. She said : "Oh, I'm a friend of Heckel and Jeckel's." My reply was "OK, where are they?". Keep in mind that we had 3 cops staying in this facility. We attend the vigil and memorial service in full uniform - loaded guns and all. So, not only did we have three fully equipped gunbelts in the apartment, but also my wife's rather expensive jewelry.

Just as I asked mystery woman where in the Sam Hill Heckel and Jeckel were, Jeckel comes out of a room, nervous as hell - as he should of been. I grabbed him and dragged him into the kitchen. As I began to throttle him, I asked him what he thought he was doing. After considerable abuse, he came up with the real story. These two shlemiels met this woman on the Metro. The Frikkin Metro. "But", Jeckel offered, "she has federal clearance - I saw her credentials." I looked at him and said: "You two doughheads wouldn't know federal clearance credentials if they bit you on the ass." I promptly told our ironing woman to get out. I told Heckel and Jeckel that if they kept it up, it would be a long walk home.

To be continued.